firstly, i want to thank all of you for your supportive comments on all of my issues and stuff i'm going through, it really helps to know someone's listening and actually cares, and believes that it will get better. you honestly have no idea how much it means to me, THANK YOU!
secondly, on a darker note, today, i failed. i ate. like a normal person. i feel disgusting i feel weak i feel heavy and out of control. but this has happened before, and i feel a lot more overall control than i have before, so i'm feeling moderately hopeful. therefore, i'm making the next five days 120calories or less days, with maybe 1 or 2 days of fasting thrown in. tomorrow is actually a 100 calorie or less day. i have to make up for the ridiculous amount i intook today, and hope to still lose some weight this week. really the ideal will be 50-75 every day, which i'm planning on accomplishing by eating only grapefruit and celery, and cutting out carbs completely. no going to dining center meals for me this week.
anyway, i'm overexhausted and need to sleep so i can get up and do tons of reading,
love and better luck to you than i've had,
(if i had a marker around, this is what my stomach would say today, even though it's not this small at all)
(but, a plus is i look nothing to close to this bad, so i'll be okay)